Does it seem like a time consuming process to find a good mom friend? You’re trying but it feels like all the good mom friends are taken?
Not to mention it can be intimidating and awkward! Sounds like dating days huh? LOL. Well, it’s honestly not that far off.
When you become a mom, certain outlooks and views may change and that’s okay. However, if that change comes with a new set of interests and priorities, then it’s time to form a community with like minded people.
I know this is much easier said than done, especially when you’re short on time.
In previous posts we talked about self care and scheduling priorities so that you can enjoy more free time.
That’s why in this post, you will get some guidance on a few little known hacks to quickly find your perfect mom tribe in much less time.
This post is pretty meaty and full of tips, so go ahead and bookmark it or save it to your Pinterest board for safekeeping right now!
Making Friends Used To Be So Easy
My goodness, babies have it so easy when it comes to making friends don’t they? Think about it, they have all their friends and hangouts set up for them. All they have to do is show up and party lol.
Well, for working moms, new moms and all moms that’s just not the case.
When you become a mom, finding your tribe can take a little work but when you do it’s the bomb dot com.
Remember in this post about self care where I talked about having a sense of community? A sense of community is important for moms, especially new moms.
This is because we could all benefit from being able to share the burden.
The mental load of motherhood gets heavy, so having a trustworthy outlet is so healthy.
The thing is, when you have a full planner and limited funds, going out all the time in hopes to make a friend is wasting your time and hard earned money.
You know I’m all about helping you get what you want without wasting your time.
Your goal is to meet some like minded mom friends, but where do you start? How do you find them without seeming desperate or lonely?
Hmmm, what’s a mama to do? I’m so glad you asked!
I am going to guide you through three little known places where you can start making mom friends today. Here’s a bonus… they are all FREE!
Here are …
3 effective ways you can start making mom friends when you’re on a time crunch.
1. Free Apps
Some examples to research are : Peanut, Hello Mamas, Smile Mom, Hey! Vina, Meetup
Remember when I said finding new moms can kinda be like dating? Well, just think of these apps as how dating apps should be.
Moms of all stages are getting great results in less time. On these apps you can find mom friends in your area.
You can setup outings, play dates and even get help on any momming obstables you may be going through.
As with anything virtual you want to always put your safety first. So check out the websites, read reviews and study the safety profile.
Make sure you follow guidelines on how to safely meet someone online.
Click here to read more about how to protect yourself online
2. Local Support Groups
Here’s a secret. You know where I got tip #1 from? My facebook mom group!
Let’s focus on Facebook….
I can’t tell you how comforting it is to be struggling with something and then see a mom you’ve never met post about the exact same issue.
Great for introverts
That feeling of saying “woah, same here!” brings a sense of being understood and realizing that you are not alone.
You wanna know what else? You get a whole list of support and advice from moms that have been there and done that.
Okay so you wanna know one more cool thing? Of course ya do!
If you’re not ready to join the convo you can just read along until you’re ready which is great for introverts. It levels out the awkwardness and intimidation factors.
How to do it
Just hop on Facebook and search mom groups in your area. To find one that works for you, check out the title and read the description.
Take a look at the rules and see if it’s a good fit.
Don’t be intimidated by having to send a request to join. This is primarily to keep non moms out, keep it local if needed and to make sure you agree to the rules. Personally I see it as a good thing.
Once you join, take a peek around and get a feel for the vibe.
No group specific to your location?
Try a larger group and ask if there are moms in your area that are part of a local mom group you could join. In the meantime there’s nothing wrong with a virtual mom friend.
I think you’ll be surprised with how supportive other moms really are!
3. Free Events : Use Your Kid
Things that fall under the umbrella of free events are play dates, school events, and even some kid activities.
Relax, it’s okay to use your kid as the ice breaker. Okay, so maybe “use” isn’t the best adjective but ya know what I mean.
It’s common ground and gives you and your potential new buddy something to talk about while also getting your kid some social time.
Crossing two things off your schedule at once! How’s that for a time saving hack?!
Plans with other people are inevitable
Now, you may be cringing when it comes to making plans as a busy working mom. I get it, but here me out.
When using play dates as a tactic to make new mom friends you can look at the hidden details to see if this mom is a good fit.
Here are some points to pay attention to :
Is she consistently keeping her word showing that she values your time?
Do you feel respected?
Are your kids respected?
Is her parenting style in line with yours?
Are your kids comfortable around her?
Dos And Donts
Just like dating, there are some things you will need to look for that your mom brain may be blocking out. You know how she is!
Okay, here we go…
There should be similar values and you should be comfortable with the friendship. Now is not a time to be a people pleaser.
The relationship needs to add vale to your life, not make you miserable for the sake of having a coffee buddy.
Anything that feels clingy, pushy, nosy or judgy is not serving you.
You want to maintain respectful boundaries too. This means both setting boundaries and respecting the ones set by others.
If you can find another mom that has mutual beliefs with similar number of kids and ages that’s a bonus.
Don’t get cliquish. It’s a sneaky trap.
Help A Mama Out!
Sometimes when we get settled into our ways we just focus on the next thing in front of us and we totally forget to look back.
I’m asking you to look back.
You will find your tribe and when you do, don’t forget where you came from. Look back and help another mom that needs a friend.
Again, you’re not alone in feeling this way. That’s why all this free help is out there. Community, venting and helping others is a healthy part of self care.
Here’s the thing, there is absolutely no reason to ever feel weird or desperate because you’re looking to make a friend.
I think it is quite aware and brave of you to go after your needs. Here’s a bad mama jama virtual high five!
You know what else proves me right? The fact that there are free apps, websites, support groups and events each with the specific intention of making mom friends.
The last thing you want to do is isolate yourself in an unhealthy way.
I understand if you live away from family and friends. That sucks! There’s just really no other way to put that. But you know what?
If you’re reading this then you have internet. The internet has leveled the playing field and you can hop online to the suggestions in this post and start engaging in some communities.
You will find that there are other moms just like you, going through the same things and they have some pretty awesome advice.
Again, Help Other Moms!
I hope you found some value in this post. If so, I would love if you would share it so we can help other moms.
Start with one of these tips and see how you do. Let me know which route you take on your quest to finding some mom friends.
Can I just say I’m so happy for you? The working mom community is a great one. Welcome!
Thanks for hanging out with me.